


Bizarre Reflections

by Thejoysofcreativity



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Introspection, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 14:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30073509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thejoysofcreativity/pseuds/Thejoysofcreativity
Summary: Larry used to think he'd never know love. Now he has the Negative Spirit, this idea is challenged.
Relationships: Keeg Bovo & Larry Trainor, Keeg Bovo/Larry Trainor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Bizarre Reflections

Larry Trainor is not destined to be happy. 

This is a fact. 

It is a fact well-known to him, because every time he has thought that he could be content with his circumstances, it is ripped away from him. 

He is never to know love, not properly, not out in the open. It was a fact before and is one now. Before, it used to be the times. Now, it is simply him.

After they escape from Mr Nobody, things begin to change.

He used to look in the mirror every morning and _ hate. _ He used to loathe the being inside of him, and wish that he was still in the past, ageing and hiding.

Now though?   
He looks in the mirror and says, “good morning.”

He does not know their name. He almost doesn’t need to. It is not to say he doesn’t wish that he knows it, because he does. He wishes he could whisper it every evening, could talk to his friend, his love, his constant companion. He wishes that he could hold them, he wishes-  _ he wishes- _

He wishes for  _ too much. _

Wishing is also not an unfamiliar concept to him. But lately, when his heart aches and he feels like he might tear himself into pieces with his anger and cruel,  _ cruel _ hope, a familiar blue light flickers in his chest.

“I’m okay,” he whispers softly. “Just the usual grievances.”

He wonders, absently, if The Negative Spirit can read his mind. He knows they can feel each other’s emotions, but he has never heard words from them. He places a hand on his heart and takes a few breaths.

It is a simple reminder that  _ he is not alone. _

The Spirit pulses under his hand in time with his breaths, and Larry smiles to both of them (not just to himself anymore,  _ never _ just himself).

They are both safe now, until the next “bad guy of the week” as Cliff so aptly puts it. It allows him time for reflection, time for  _ just them, _ a paradise that Larry never expected.

“How about a morning in?” He suggests.

A bright blue light beams through his chest and warmth spreads through him. It is familiar, reassuring,  _ incredible _ . He knows it now:

_ Love. _

Larry went to Catholic school as a boy, because what  _ better  _ place for a gay child?

He never enjoyed the masses. They never meant anything to him. But the priest’s homilies, when they weren’t fueled with hateful vitriol, were sometimes vaguely interesting.

One that always stuck with him was a speech about love. The priest had said that every heartbeat was God saying “I love you.”

He didn’t believe in God, not really, not after everything, but he knew that feeling of all-consuming love.

Every time his heart beats, The Spirit is right there alongside it. His heart, which he once found so traitorous and terrible, is full of joy. 

_ I love you, I love you, I love you. _

He knows it deeply, as he lies down on his bed and smiles.

Through him, comfort swirls. He closes his eyes and takes another breath. He tries to push his feelings of love onto The Spirit, just as they do to him.

“I love you,” he murmurs.

He once would have balked at the idea that he would love the being he once saw as responsible for his life being ruined. But now, he understands that they are as much stuck with him as he is with them.

They gave up their freedom for him, and he can never repay that. But with every heartbeat, he is grateful.

_ I love you, I love you, I love you. _

Larry is grateful for this love, this endless closeness and the intimacy of their dynamic. To have someone as close as a heartbeat, and who knows him down to every slight movement, every breath.

He used to think it was a curse. Now he knows it to be a blessing.

Larry Trainor is loved. This is a fact. 

Larry Trainor loves the Negative Spirit. This is also a fact.

If it is all he ever knows in the world, he’ll take it.


End file.
